We often hear “the rules” from the feminine side.
Ok- well now hear the guys’ side – it’s only fair (realizing of course that Father’s Day is the only day of the year we could get away with it!)
#10 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
#9 Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
#8 Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
#7 “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
#6 Check your oil! Please, check your oil!
#5 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all past comments become null and void after 7 days.
#4 If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
#3 If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
#2 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
#1 Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we…
The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which of them should have the present. “Who is the most obedient?” he asked. “Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?” Five small voices answered in unison. “Okay, dad, you get the toy.”
Today is the day that we honor fathers. Yea!
In all seriousness, we are to honor our fathers, and our mothers, and this day in June is set aside for us to honor the fathers in this country. But we are to honor our fathers, not because it’s a holiday, not because it’s a tradition, not because there are sales going on all over the country, but because God said so.
In fact, he said so very specifically. The bible tells us in Ephesians 6:1-3, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Notice that it doesn’t say, honor only good moms and dads. It doesn’t say, honor them if you like them. It doesn’t say, honor only the right ones. It says, “honor your father and mother.” And so, today, we ought to honor all fathers.
But I want to speak directly to the dads here today. And if you’re not a dad, don’t check out, because we all need to hear this. You see, we are involved in a war today, and the battleground is not in Iraq or Afghanistan. The battleground is in our homes. And what’s at stake is not our land, our property, our freedoms. It’s more important that than. What’s at stake are our children.
And believe me—it’s a war, it’s an important war, and in this country, we are losing the battle. Children are turning from the faith in record numbers. It’s as if as soon as they leave home and go to college they leave the church. And if you don’t believe me, look here this morning. And lest you think that its only a problem here, it is true all over this country. Children in record numbers are turning from God.
DUCT TAPE LESSONS FOR BEING A GREAT DAD
1. STICK TO THE MAIN THING
adheres closely to what it was designed to — your main purpose is to adhere to Jesus Christ
2. BE STRONG BUT FLEXIBLE
strong yet flexible — we are to have a quiet strength (meekness)
3. HOLD IT TOGETHER
Holds things together — God has you as the leader in holding the fabric of your family together
4. DON’T GET EXPOSED TO THE WRONG ELEMENTS
breaks down to nothing if exposed to the wrong elements —– so will you if you expose yourself to things that break down your health, integrity, reputation, your character, your walk with Christ, your relationship to your wife & kids.
5. DON’T THINK YOU’RE THE PERMANENT SOLUTION
Duct tape is often used to fix things, but can only do so temporarily – you have to eventually use the only true & permanent solution — you are not expected to be everything to everyone, and can’t be, you are pointing yourself & others to Christ alone