“No Excuse Sunday.”
Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, “Sunday is my only day to sleep in.”
Murine will be available for those with tired eyes… from watching television too late on Saturday night.
We will have steel helmets for those who say, “The roof would cave in if I ever came to church.”
Blankets will be provided for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who think the church is too hot.
We will have hearing aids for those who say, “The pastor speaks too softly,” and cotton for those who say I preach too loudly.
Score cards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.
For those who wish to spend time with family on Sunday we assure you that your Father will be in attendance.
There will be T.V. dinners for those who cannot go to church and cook dinner also.
One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature.
Finally, the sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never seen the church without them.